Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
