I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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