The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
