he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
