oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
