Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
