420 ftw
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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