But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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