She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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