Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
