I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
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