After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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