I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
