ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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