remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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