i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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