About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
