I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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