my vag is so smooth its legendary
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
