For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
