try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize