The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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