Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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