We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
