Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Randomize
