"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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