you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
