I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
