Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
