Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
