if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
