Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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