At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
