I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
