something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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