The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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