O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
