all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
