we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
