I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
