he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
farters have to be the big spoon...
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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