whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
