I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
If I die, sorry about rent.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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