Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
