I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just want nice things and good sex
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
