i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
You can't special order awesome
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
