..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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