I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize