Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
