I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
