Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
