Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
