Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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