I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
