The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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