I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
