Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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