The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize