And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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