woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
