OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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