i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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