i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
There's always time for handjobs
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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