i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
