bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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