Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize