Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
